When A Parent Becomes Disabled

When I received a call from my sister in South Carolina saying that my mother had suffered a stroke, I would never have imagined what it would mean to me. Aside from bemoaning the fact that my very independent mother was at once disabled, and totally dependent on us (her adult children), we could not have forseen all of the problems we would have to work through.

My mother was truly remarkable in that she insisted on living alone since her second husband had passed away in 1976. The year was now 1990. There I was, the oldest daughter, living and working in New York, along with my husband and two daughters. My oldest daughter had already moved out and was living on her own. The youngest of our girls was about twelve years old at that time. After visiting my mother twice during her illness, (once in the hospital, and for a month after she was discharged from rehabilitation) she wanted my family to relocate and stay with and care for her.

I was so torn at first. Of course, I wanted to help mom in her illness, but I also wanted to stay and work in New York. I was forty-nine years old, and my husband was fifty-one years old at that time. We realized that it was going to be difficult starting all over again. Rather than being riddled with guilt and regrets from not doing what we could for mom, we reluctantly resigned from our jobs, tied up as many loose ends as we could manage, rented a truck, packed all our belongings, and we were off. We had already prayed and left the overwhelming situation in God's hands. (continued) Part 1