Mom was felled with a stroke in April of 1990. I came here from New York two times to assist in her care. The first time I took a week of vacation days off from my job at a certain bank where I had been employed at that time for nine years. My Supervisor wasn't so pleased at my absence because we were quite busy in our department.
The second time I asked for a month off to come to South Carolina to assist in Mom's care, and also to straighten out some business affairs. My Supervisor was furious that I had the gall to ask for more time off in such a short period after I had taken the first week off. (All of this happened before the Family Leave Act was initiated, I believe, in 1994.) I took the remaining of my vacation time, which was one week, plus, I took three weeks of unpaid leave. Of course I was in trouble with one of the managers when I went back to work.
My Manager said that I was on an Unauthorized Leave for that month, because if he had been at the bank and not on a business trip himself, he would not have granted me that time off, even if it was to care for my Mother. His reason being that Mom was not a part of my immediate household, and she resided in another state. My reasoning was she was still my Mom even if she lived on the other side of the moon. continued Part 3
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Disabled Parents
We requested a truck to move our belongings to South Carolina to help in the care for my mother. When the truck finally arrived after waiting for two weeks, we realized it was not large enough for everything we had on our moving list. We decided to give our neighbors some of the things that we didn't have room for. Everything worked out well, and we arrived safely to our destination. Mom was not as happy to see us as she had sounded on the 'phone. We were at once sorry we had made the trip. But, I kept telling myself, it will be okay.
We settled in the routine of caring for Mom on a daily basis. Mom was very sick and depressed.
Nothing we could say or do would make her satisfied or at least contented. There were times when she would refuse to eat. Most days Mom was so uncooperative. Her doctor said that was the effects of strokes and dementia. We just had to deal with it. I felt so sad for Mom because she cried when she realized that she couldn't go fishing or go for long walks with her friends.
Because of our Mom's illness, we siblings would keep at each other's throats, thinking that some weren't doing what they could for Mom. Now I know we were all making the most of a grave situation. We all loved Mom so much, but we all had different and unique family dynamics to deal with, also. That was a stressful time for the whole family of us. But we did what we could. (Continued) Part 2
We settled in the routine of caring for Mom on a daily basis. Mom was very sick and depressed.
Nothing we could say or do would make her satisfied or at least contented. There were times when she would refuse to eat. Most days Mom was so uncooperative. Her doctor said that was the effects of strokes and dementia. We just had to deal with it. I felt so sad for Mom because she cried when she realized that she couldn't go fishing or go for long walks with her friends.
Because of our Mom's illness, we siblings would keep at each other's throats, thinking that some weren't doing what they could for Mom. Now I know we were all making the most of a grave situation. We all loved Mom so much, but we all had different and unique family dynamics to deal with, also. That was a stressful time for the whole family of us. But we did what we could. (Continued) Part 2
Friday, May 21, 2010
When A Parent Becomes Disabled
When I received a call from my sister in South Carolina saying that my mother had suffered a stroke, I would never have imagined what it would mean to me. Aside from bemoaning the fact that my very independent mother was at once disabled, and totally dependent on us (her adult children), we could not have forseen all of the problems we would have to work through.
My mother was truly remarkable in that she insisted on living alone since her second husband had passed away in 1976. The year was now 1990. There I was, the oldest daughter, living and working in New York, along with my husband and two daughters. My oldest daughter had already moved out and was living on her own. The youngest of our girls was about twelve years old at that time. After visiting my mother twice during her illness, (once in the hospital, and for a month after she was discharged from rehabilitation) she wanted my family to relocate and stay with and care for her.
I was so torn at first. Of course, I wanted to help mom in her illness, but I also wanted to stay and work in New York. I was forty-nine years old, and my husband was fifty-one years old at that time. We realized that it was going to be difficult starting all over again. Rather than being riddled with guilt and regrets from not doing what we could for mom, we reluctantly resigned from our jobs, tied up as many loose ends as we could manage, rented a truck, packed all our belongings, and we were off. We had already prayed and left the overwhelming situation in God's hands. (continued) Part 1
My mother was truly remarkable in that she insisted on living alone since her second husband had passed away in 1976. The year was now 1990. There I was, the oldest daughter, living and working in New York, along with my husband and two daughters. My oldest daughter had already moved out and was living on her own. The youngest of our girls was about twelve years old at that time. After visiting my mother twice during her illness, (once in the hospital, and for a month after she was discharged from rehabilitation) she wanted my family to relocate and stay with and care for her.
I was so torn at first. Of course, I wanted to help mom in her illness, but I also wanted to stay and work in New York. I was forty-nine years old, and my husband was fifty-one years old at that time. We realized that it was going to be difficult starting all over again. Rather than being riddled with guilt and regrets from not doing what we could for mom, we reluctantly resigned from our jobs, tied up as many loose ends as we could manage, rented a truck, packed all our belongings, and we were off. We had already prayed and left the overwhelming situation in God's hands. (continued) Part 1
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day! to the young and older mothers. It takes such a special lady to be a 'real, genuine, and sincere, lovable, and patient, mom.' I'm really proud of my daughter. I give her all the credit for being one mother in a million. She really love her two children , AND SHE SHOWS IT TO THEM IN MANY WAYS.
They are probably too young to appreciate her now, but in a few more years, I pray they really realize just what they have for a mother. A very, very special person, indeed. Daughter always put the children's needs before her own. She thinks of many small things to make her children feel wanted and loved.
I think she's so special and I tell her often so she can feel appreciated now, not when her children are all grown-up and have children of their own. Again, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there in this great, big 'ol world; especially to my loving daughter(s). Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!
They are probably too young to appreciate her now, but in a few more years, I pray they really realize just what they have for a mother. A very, very special person, indeed. Daughter always put the children's needs before her own. She thinks of many small things to make her children feel wanted and loved.
I think she's so special and I tell her often so she can feel appreciated now, not when her children are all grown-up and have children of their own. Again, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there in this great, big 'ol world; especially to my loving daughter(s). Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!
An Old Summer Squash Recipe
As a child living in the country, we had a few gardens dispersed around in the areas nearest the house. In those gardens we planted the vegetables that we enjoyed eating on a regular basis. Squash certainly was one of our favorites. We mostly ate it fried in butter or in bacon oil.
There was one recipe that my Mom acquired from from a friend of hers for squash. My Mom tried making it, but, as I recall, no one in the house cared much for it. The yellow squash should be cut down length-wise. Then place the squash in boiling water with some salt. After boiling for some ten minutes, remove the squash, let it cool. Scrape the inside pulp out of the shells of the squash in a bowl. Mix the pulp with saltine crackers, eggs, grated cheddar cheese, onions, and
peanut butter.
Spoon the mixture into the squash shells, sprinkle with more grated cheddar cheese, and bake in a preheated oven with 350 degrees for about fifteen minutes. Enjoy! if you like squash, and most of all, If you like peanut butter!
There was one recipe that my Mom acquired from from a friend of hers for squash. My Mom tried making it, but, as I recall, no one in the house cared much for it. The yellow squash should be cut down length-wise. Then place the squash in boiling water with some salt. After boiling for some ten minutes, remove the squash, let it cool. Scrape the inside pulp out of the shells of the squash in a bowl. Mix the pulp with saltine crackers, eggs, grated cheddar cheese, onions, and
peanut butter.
Spoon the mixture into the squash shells, sprinkle with more grated cheddar cheese, and bake in a preheated oven with 350 degrees for about fifteen minutes. Enjoy! if you like squash, and most of all, If you like peanut butter!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
